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I can tell you at least in my case, when women send me messages I don't think of them as desperate in the slightest bit.I think of them as being more proactive and it's nice knowing from the start that they are into you enough to take the plunge.Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc.Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing...You can message first, and still make a man chase a bit.Bottom line if you are interested in someone, and they haven't messaged you then you should send them one.
There IS such a thing as BEING desperate, and therefore as coming off as such in your messages.Some people think that if a woman so much as looks at a guy directly, that she's labeling herself as desperate for affection.Some guys genuinely think that any woman who responds to them the first time they approach her, is obviously defective. From what I've seen though, most people are really not like that, even including some who think they are (these last have excuses for why it's okay when they break the "rules," because they are so unique, usually) .If you like a guy and compliment him on something he will appreciate it and have a better day even if he might not be interested in you.Just like we have to be ready for rejection don't take it personal if the feeling isn't mutual, if he does not like you than he is not worth the emotion of caring about it :p I welcome it.
In general, the women who have messaged me that I've ended up dating have had their shit way more together in life.